My children are asking me questions about sexuality and relationships. When I was a child, I never asked these questions so early. My children want to go out for late night party all the time. When I was a child, we were in bed by 10. My children keep watching YouTube videos all the time. We weren’t allowed more than half an hour of TV time on a school day. Parenting is a circus but by adopting a definite parenting style, we can definitely raise a holistically developed child.
When I hear mothers talking about the struggles with their kids, it reminds of Amitabh Bachchan dialogue from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham –
Dadaji gaye the.
Mein gaya tha.
Ab tum jaoge.
While we may chuckle whenever we recall this scene, it does give a very important insight into what our parenting style is.
What are parenting styles? In simple terms, parenting styles are a reflection of the values and beliefs we have about raising children that we have learnt by observing our own parents. In simple terms, we parent our children as our parents did when we children.
Each parent has a different parenting style of raising their child and there is no one sure fire way to go. Many times we have to use the eclectic approach of combining different parenting styles together to bring out the best in our child.
Here are some of the useful tips to adopt a healthy parenting style to raise a holistically developed child:
- A child’s day should be structured such that there is a planned bedtime and some house rules.
- You should set certain rules and regulations for your child. They should understand the reasonable expectations you have for their behaviour. While the structure and rules of parents are necessary for healthy child development, it is important to balance out the provided structure. This can happen with open communication so that the child knows exactly why it is important for them to follow the rules in front of them.
- It is very important to have an open line of communication with your child. This means that the child should feel that he/ she can speak to you about anything. Without fear of negative consequences and harsh judgment.
- As parents, we should understand our child’s emotional and physical needs completely. We should be totally aware of what is going on in our child’s life.
- It is very important for a child to have a safe space at home where they can share their experiences. Expect positive feedback versus negative or no feedback when you are not around.
- It is extremely important to know your child’s friends as environmental factors play an equally important role in the upbringing of the child.
- It is a good idea to understand your child’s mood. However, certainly not a good idea to often compromise your rules to accommodate your child’s mood.
- A parent should always be a parent as well as a best friend to their child. But the child should always learn to differentiate between how to behave with friends and parents.
- As a parent, you should never bribe your child to do things with larger rewards.
- It is very important to give choices to your child as it helps in better decision-making skills and help them to feel more confident about them.