We frequently say that we love our children unconditionally, yet unconditional acceptance can be hard to achieve. Accept your children for who they are by learning to accept them as they are.
1. Work on Self-Acceptance
It will be simpler for us to accept our children if we can accept ourselves. “We criticize individuals in areas where we’re prone to shame, especially choosing persons who are doing worse than we are,” says Shame researcher Brené Brown. We’re harsh on each other because we’re using each other as a springboard for our own perceived shortcomings.”
In my own life, I’ve witnessed this concept at work. When I’m feeling insecure, I tend to be harsher with my children. It’s a lot simpler for me to accept them as they are when I’m pleased with myself. Accepting ourselves takes time and effort, but the rewards extend to all of our relationships.
2. Learn a little about child development
Understanding your children’s ages and stages will help you understand why they act the way they do.
Did you know that toddlers are still building their sense of self at this stage, therefore resistance is natural and good for them? That was a big lesson for me. I was able to deal calmly with tantrums and rebellion once I realized it and recognized that this was simply a stage.
3. Take time to understand your child’s personality
Most parents immediately learn that each child has a distinct personality. Spending some time in determining your child’s personality type and learning more about it will assist you in comprehending-
- What is it that makes your child tick?
- What kind of relationship they’ll have with you and others.
- What sets them apart from you
Learning about this makes it much simpler to accept and appreciate your children’s uniqueness.
4. Let go of your expectations and dreams
We all have aspirations and plans for our children, but we must let go of them at some time and allow them to live their own lives.
I’ve always expected that my son would go to university. But, by chance, he elected to enter the workforce right after high school. I was upset and concerned that he would not be able to find suitable employment.
I nagged him about his options for a while trying to encourage him to go to university. It finally dawned on me that I was imposing my standards on him which was wrong.
My child is doing well in the world now and has recently obtained his dream job. I needed to get out of the way and let them make their own decisions.
5. Let go of your fears
If you find yourself frequently criticizing your children, take a step back and consider why you are doing so. Fear is a common factor.
Maybe we’re afraid we’re not doing a good job as parents.
Fear that our children will grow up to be grownups incapable of functioning in society.
Fear of being judged by other parents.
Acceptance is one of the most valuable things we can give our children. Learn to let go of the worries that obstruct your progress.
6. Be mindful of the underlying causes of your child’s behavior
Keep an eye out for learning difficulties in particular – Did you know that children with Dyscalculia fail to remember their tables, have problems doing even the most basic mathematical computations, and have trouble following verbal instructions?
I accepted that he needed a calculator to accomplish the basic math and that he did much better with written directions once I realized this.
I’d also keep an eye out for indicators of mental illness or evidence that a youngster is being bullied or abused.