When I got pregnant, I decided taking care of my baby on my own (at least for the first 2 years of her life). And so I did. I went from being an independent, working 28 year old, to a ‘stay at home mom’.
The first 2 years went off like a breeze. I had the pleasure of enjoying every second of her. I had too many meltdowns but they were tucked away every time I looked at my daughter.
By the time her 3rd birthday came around, we decided to move back to Delhi. Our family was there and I felt its important to be closer to them. To be honest I was ready to jump back into my life.
So, after packing up our newly renovated home and saying our goodbyes, we finally reached Delhi! We were more than elated to be back, after all we were back again with the whole family. Our friends were all there and we just geared up to get settled and start our life.
2 years on and we’re anything but settled!
Instead, I live away from my husband (he lives with his parents and I live with my widowed father – yes you heard me right! We have our reasons and have been judged mostly by family) We have a ‘weekend marriage’ (that’s what we like to call it), I’m still in the search for a nanny (there are more chances of me climbing Everest !) . “Well you get the picture, right?”
In the middle of all this, I found myself probably at the lowest point of my life (I thought postpartum was awful!). My husband had started working, he was out and I felt like I had lost him. As if we had no life together and our lives were going down different paths (I am still struggling to find a nanny and so I was taking care of my daughter and trying my best to juggle being a mother, daughter, wife and a daughter in law). I was depressed, always angry, irritated and it started affecting all my relationships. I started lamenting every decision I had ever made ever since my daughter was born. Everytime someone told me how amazing it was that I have taken care of my daughter on my own, I wanted to tell them otherwise.
I had to take a step back and I tried to find my OWN balance. Not what society or your parents or your in laws or anybody else thought was right but the kind of balance that is right for YOU!
And so I took a leap of faith and started my own little business. I started going out and meeting people as much as I could. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a struggle some days as I am still finding and creating my own right kind of balance. And it does help when you have a very supportive spouse!
