As a society, we value and find worth in a narrow range of personalities. We all want our children to be outgoing, bold and popular, assertive sociable, exuberant and confident. In one word an extrovert. Out there, is a world oozing out with extroverts, causing a sense of tension and dissatisfaction at another side of the coin.
Often this comportment is instantly considered as wrong and unexpected. Parenting an introvert child itself is a challenge, Introverts struggle with invisibility. They are the quiet ones who prefer to stay in their shell and experience the world on their pace.
Most of the times parents think of this as a non-adjusting behavior of their little one. Parents should always keep in mind the two temperaments extroversion and introversion. Extroverts energize by social interaction and being with others. This behavior is natural when it comes to children, whereas introverts can find this draining and exhausting. They get energized by quiet reflection, by being on their own, which often causes parents to be concerned about their kids. Parents should understand that if their child spending more time with themselves, it means they are in a constant process of learning and understanding themselves. We tend to confuse shyness with introverts when actually they differ; being shy is fear of being judged. An introvert child can be socially adept.
It’s not that we should let the introverts be like they are. Encouraging them to go out and play, attend parties, participate in events at school helps a great deal. Just like we need to train extroverts to be little more reflective, sensitive, appreciate quiet and self-time in the internal world.
Susan Chain explains it correctly “The trick is to accept the balance and then celebrate.”
Accept – Introverts tend to carry a huge load of guilt and anxiety, as they grow up. Forcing them on socializing activities barges their comfort zones. This later builds up on their anxiety and the child will not be able to adjust to future complex situations. We should accept both socializing and learning opportunities as well as learn in solitude. A child who understands “I might be different from others but I am fine will be in a much more better position to accept self, helping skip the phase of pretending to be someone else. Parents should, therefore, support children in accepting themselves in their comfort zones.
Balance -Gently encourage introverted children towards being a little more adventurous.
Allow them to join camps and their hobby classes, making them confident of what they are good at and like the most. Confidence gained by today’s learning will help them come out gracefully tomorrow – and this is the balance. As long as the child is feeling accepted and they have a sense of ownership of what they need to do they will always keep learning through these small steps.
Celebrate – Introverts are thinkers, listeners. As they grow their little minds hold best treasures. Kids feel world much more strongly. Curiosities of these minds invent wonders. Every child deserves appreciation. Keep appreciating and celebrating small success. This will not push them out of their zones but will definitely expand their comfort zones.