The abuse factor in marriage and its adversities

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“What is your reaction when you see or hear a case of mental or physical abuse in the family.”

“My mind goes to the child as he is the one who does not know why this is happening. This topic came to my mind when I was going through an article about Ranbir Kapoor and his disturbed childhood because of the turbulent marriage of his parents.”

If this can affect the child, then seeing an abused parent will shatter his confidence. Hence, I decided to share my thoughts on this platform.

Recently, a lady came to me through an acquaintance who is being harassed by her husband on the grounds of infidelity. There is no truth but who can really prove or deny it, if your partner is determined to believe it. My idea is not to victimize women, this may be the case of men too. But if your spouse does not trust you then your life will go into explaining your point or in asking for forgiveness.

(Image credits: Google)

The child is seeing this from the day he started understanding the world around him and no parent can help him negate it. One is not willing to and another is not ready to. Both the parents in this situation want to do the best for the children, thinking that other is lacking in their commitment. In some cases, the child is abused too. Then at least there is some understanding between the victim parent and the child sharing as they share the pain.

Making a child understand the negative point of such acts like the right to abuse your partner or have the authority to behave as you may please, is easy in this case.

“So, what to do when you are into an abusive relationship but enduring the pain due to your children. Have you ever tried to discuss this with them?”

My suggestion is, please do it. A child sees more than they can understand. They can make a story in his mind which will need an outlet after some time.

The abused one can read a story about the negative facts of the abuse or can take help of the teacher or a person the child likes and trusts. When it comes to girls, I have seen that they become protective of the abused parent after some years. But for boys, they go into ignore mode till life brings them to the same path. Then they mostly follow what they have seen. Even in the case of girls, if they have seen their mother getting beaten by their father, they accept it as a part of life. If we keep the communication up and running with them, then we can lessen the negativity.

(image credits: google)

“A child will always want both the parents, but if it’s the need of the hour then it’s good to give one complete parent rather than two broken ones.”

In the case of separation, don’t fill the mind of the child with negativity about other parent.

This will create trust issues in the child. Tomorrow they might find it difficult to share a cordial relationship with their own children or trusting their spouse.

‘We have always read “AS YOU SOW AS YOU REAP”, so if negativity has been sown in the child’s mind then we cannot reap positivity.”

Nowadays help is available, please take it. We are the ones who are raising future. To make it beautiful, we need to weed-out the negativities of our life. Take a stand or  seek help outside. A child’s mind is barren land where we can grow what we think is right for the society.

(Image credits: Google)