Teaching your child to be independent

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For all the mothers their children would remain, babies, even after they grow up. Emotionally it’s OK to love your child but mothers should take care of the fact that their emotions should not hamper the growth of their child. These days we are too much dependent on maids for our kids. This dependency leads to sluggishness in both the mother and the child. We should always remember one thing no nanny/maid can love your child more than you can. She can never replace you and what you can do for your child, no one can. These days mothers are so busy socialising that they are ready to leave their kids alone and un-attended with their maids.

A child asked his mom one day, mom will you leave your bag full of money with the maid, she said no. Then the child said how can you leave me alone with her when you cannot trust her with your bag. Am I less precious than your money? The mother had no answer. So, we should be extra careful before leaving our kids with the maids.

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When we have maids around us the kids become more dependent and in most of the cases the way they see their mom instructing the maids to do the work. Same way, the kids copy us and start giving orders rather than doing the simplest of things on their own. This hampers their fine motor skills and gross motor skills. For example, while playing with the child, we do not get up to pick the stuff up and ask help from maids, so the child is smart enough to learn that next time he or she will also give the order, hampering his or her fine motor skills.

Children are like blank pages of a notebook. They follow what we do. Fine motor skills are small moments such as picking up small objects and holding a spoon that uses the small muscles of the fingers, toes, wrists, lips and tongue. Gross motor skills are the bigger movements such as rolling over and sitting, that uses the large muscles in the arms, legs, torso and feet.

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A 4-year-old should be capable of copying a circle or imitating a cross, holding a pencil with thumb and fingers on opposite sides of the pencil using the non-dominant hand to assist and stabilise objects and threading a sequence of small beads onto the string.  All these targets are achieved when children learn to use their smaller muscles like muscles in the hands, fingers and wrists. Fine motor skills are used when kids start writing, holding small items, buttoning, clothing, turning pages, eating, cutting with scissors and using computer keyboards. Example of fine motor skills includes picking things up with fingers which nowadays maids do rather than kids doing themselves. We should give mindful toys to kids according to their age like puzzles and tools which helps in the development of their fine motor skills.

Gross motor skills involve the larger muscles in the arms, legs and torso. Gross motor activities include walking, running, throwing, lifting kicking etc. These skills also relate to body awareness, reaction, speed, balance and strength. Example of gross motor skills is catching a ball, balancing, climbing, jumping on a trampoline, playing tag and running races. And those come after the momentous gross motor development that a baby undergoes in 16 short months of life. Rolling over, sitting up, crawling and walking. These skills are developed in a child from birth up to 5 years. If these skills are underdeveloped until the age of 5 years it adversely affects the child’s confidence and his or her ability to do simple tasks by himself.

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This is where your child needs occupational therapy sessions where they focus on all the simple daily tables and activities to stimulate the child’s muscle development. Timely development of fine and gross motor skills can have a positive impact on the school readiness skills such as reading, writing and sitting postures etc. Your child will feel more confident in a competitive moment of school. And lastly, your child achieves long-lasting good health.

I would conclude this article saying encourage your child to become independent as soon as the child is ready for it and be less dependent on maids which is good for your child’s development and his security also. This way we can lessen the cases of bad behaviour of maids towards children and can stop abduction and trafficking of kids which is again a big racket these days.